RELATIONSHIP CORNER

[Omiunu Ojinga gideon]

BONE TO HIS BONES
BUILDING A TRUE LOVE: IS SEX A TRUE PROOF FOR LOVE?
‘If love was human, I would be the first to cast a stone at him,’ was the statement made by a colleague when I was serving as a Youth corp. I wondered how love would have treated him that he had so bad an intention against love. But when love is badly treated or handled, it releases an experience which might not be conducive to our living or existence. I’ve given the alphabetical meaning of love in the last edition as: L-Lifebelt, O-Optical, V-Viability, and E-Emotion. In this edition we want to know what love is and is not. Love has been the most common among humans across all ages, black and white, great and small, young and old, but the concept has being mis-understood. Love in this context, is the kind of love between two lovers.


Our focus here is building a true love and relationship. The foundations of houses differ with the type of house. That of a bungalow differs from a storey building, and even storey buildings’ foundations vary in their hierarchies. The family home is a very delicate material that needs more care to be handled because all our joy and fulfillments in life, from the very day one, to the last day on this earth and even after death are attached to our marital fulfillments. It is almost very impossible to enjoy life on earth and after death if we don’t have a sweet home. This is because our comfort zone might have been tampered with and we would be tempted to do things that could disqualify us from heaven, due to the ill-lucks in our marriages. May the good LORD give you a Godly home-Amen.
From our diagram above, fig 1 is the best type for a Godly home, with a very good foundation to build a relationship or marriage on. If we are being sincere with ourselves today, we could see that most relationships today in our societies are not built on the agape love but rather the sex-love. Apostle paul said, ‘… , though I give my body … , and have no love, it profiteth me nothing’- 1 Cor 13:3 [NIV]. Many singles have given and are still giving their body without the real love. One can give his or her body for sex yet no love for the relationship. No wonder our relationships in our societies today bring God and us ache rather than joy. Sex in relationships without the pure love brings pains, shames, heartbreaks, rapes, molestations, ill-lucks, and tragedies. Oh, that I can echo this into the ears and hearts of every single. Many lives, relationships and marriages are being tormented today and hunted by the shadows of their past ways of lives, because they thought the sex-love foundation was the best. Many have had several sex with different kind of people [both single and married], others are still having, others are still trying to have it. Until the agape love is enthroned as the foundation of our relationship, we are all deceiving ourselves. Agape love is the God kind of and also a pure love. Every relationship must have the agape love as their foundation and maintain it [fig 1] and not the sex love as your relationship foundation [fig 2]. Fig 2 type of relationship is not a stable one, it can fall at any time, because the pivot on which the relationship rests on is so small and unstable, while that of fig 1 is more stable [see the diagram]. I came to discover, that although sex is good, because God created it, it was the last thing God had in mind when he made marriage for human, because there were much better things that came to play first and are so important before sex comes to play. Relationship, friendliness, communication, companionship, etc, were all what God had in mind when He initiated marriage. For it was the loneliness of man that brought about relationship, not the man or the woman wanting to have sex. Sex removes the vital worth from a relationship, it chokes the real love, if had before marriage, and also, there is the tendency of one party jilting the other, because in such relationship purpose had been mis-defined.
God trying to make sex sacred hid it under the marriage, He said, ‘ … , Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth… .’ supposed God wasn’t intending to make it more sacred in marriage, he would have said, ‘Go have sex everywhere and anyhow.’ But today, humans have rearranged it by themselves and many will say, is it not God that ordained sex? Yes, it was God but not in that manner. God made it more sacred, and until we treat it more sacred in our relationships, the lions of heartbreaks, divorce, ill-lucks, shames, pains, grieves, molestations, etc, will be attracted to our lives. Let the love of God be the foundation of your relationship and Maintain it, it is then God will tabernacle in your relationship or marriage, else the devil will. I don’t know how you have built your own marriage or relationship, your own might be the figure 2 type, it is not too late, you can call on Jesus to have mercy on you and come into your relationship, for he is ever willing to dwell in your home. For the times of ignorant God overlooked, but now he commanded all men everywhere to repent [Acts 17:30]. Turn to him and he will wipe away all those shadows of your past life that can hunt after you and cause impediments to your present living. God bless you. Join me next edition as I give us the fourteen true and pure sign of a true love. For more counseling please contact:
E-mail: [e-mail], Web: http://defountlovers.ning.com and sign up to be part of the body, or call: [phone], [phone] & [phone].
O. O. Gideon